It takes courage to approach total strangers and lend commentary on how we can raise our children. What's key? I am sincere and speak to people in their own space. What I have to say is not for everyone to hear. I can relate to parents and oftentimes express that this book helps us when times get frustrating with our children, to find more productive things to do with them. Hitting them should not be an option. And when I'm told, "Oh yeah I beat their butts!" I respond with a simple, "Yeeeesss! I wrote this book just for you." Caring people, who support this work I do, donated money so that I can gift these books freely to families I meeting in my daily travels. If you'd like to keep these episodes going, contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org and let us know today! Enjoy some of my episodes below.
Afternoon train ep: We were walking down the platform toward the back car, before the train came. A little girl was squirming and squealing a lil bit in her Mama's lap and I slowed down a bit, but kept on walking. I looked back and saw the lil girl pull her mom's hair, yet the mom did not retaliate. Good. At that point I told Patience to wait a minute and I back tracked because I saw a woman approach and give the mom her 2 cents about her daughter making so much noise to be so little. Now it was obvious to me that the lil mama was sleepy, but many adults have a low tolerance for children expressing natural frustrations. That's when I decided to bring in my 95 cents and offer my card to the mom. She was receptive and the 2 cents lady asked for a card, as well as the lady sitting next to the mom. My goal was to validate the mom and the little girl and wedge out the 2 cents.
I offered my book to the mom and she accepted it willingly. The train finally came and I suggested to the Mom that we sit away from the 2 cents lady. Happy to say, the mom did not believe in spanking her daughter. She said her daughter was spoiled and i quickly corrected her and told her she was not spoiled, but highly loved. We talked about her being a new parent and how she always looks for advice on being a good parent. We talked about where negative influences may be coming from and what to do to counter that behavior. I told her that she could call me anytime. Use and enjoy the bookSarina Lofton! London did a good job choosing her mama!
Morning bus ep: Yaaass these Chicago bus episodes fill me soooo much! This sister saw when I approached the mom that was punching her teen on the bus one morning. She told me the mom slapped another child after I left. She mentioned that some people just shouldn't have children. I agreed and told her that I look for that sister every morning. Me and this sister have a major similarity in that we are new to Chicago and still getting settled. I listened to her views on not wanting to spank her children and her sharing those views with her husband. She told me about relatives that believe in spanking and I told her she could come to my event on October 12th. What I love about what she had to say is that it was a blessing to meet me. Everytime I meet one of these sisters on the bus here in Chicago, they say that to me...That it is a blessing to have met me. Well I am going to return the blessing to them and support them fully. I gifted her my book and she asked if I needed any help or volunteers. I am going to find something for her to do with me you just watch! Enjoy the book LaShanta!
I had one earphone in my ear, so I didn't hear the entire conversation. All I heard him say to his friend was, "I respect elders to a limit." So I took my earphones totally out and said, "What chu mean, to a limit?" He told me that an elder can hit him once, then maybe twice, but then the third time, he don't know. He said that if he shows someone respect , then he should get respected too. I told him that I totally agree with him 100% on that. I told him that I got into his conversation because I wrote a book about not hitting kids to discipline them. He asked me why I felt that way. I told him that he has a brain and all I need to do is communicate with him to get my point across. I told him that if I punched hom in the face right then, he would not want to hear anything I had to say. He pretty much agreed. Then I gave him my card. He looked at the image and smiled to his friend. He said, "So where's your book?" I said, "On Amazon, or my website or in my bag." He said, "Let's see it." "Oh you wanna see my book?" I said. "Yeah" he said. So I handed him the book, he thumbed through it and asked, "Hom much you charge for your book?" As I was about to say free, he chimed in, "You should give it to me for free." I told him, "You got it! On one condition. You have to take a selfie with me." He sucked his teeth a lil somethin, agreed, and had nerve to cal my phone bogus, when I took it out. I told him, "Don't be snappin on my phone!" I signed the book. We took our selfie, and he went to the back and started to go through the book. Read that book and spread its power LIL C!
Gifting my book to Courtney brought my spirits back up today. On the eay to Patience's school today, I saw a mom repeatedly punch her teenager and knock on her 2 year old's head. I was in mid conversation with someone, but cut that jam short cuz I had to get 9ver to her quick! It was my stop too, so I only had a few seconds to get at her. I grabbed her arm, handed her my card and said, "Uuuhh uuhh mama I need you to call me asap!" I then put ny hand on her waist and told her that I have only been here in Chicago from NYC for 11 days, but I need her ti call me because I wrote a book about not beating kids to discipline them. She had a tribe of about 8 children, and frustration was aaaall over her face. Not having more time with her brought my spirit down a bit.
But then I met this lovely angel Courtney. She only has this one daughter and really expressed wanting the book when she could afford it. Y'all know immediately I asked her if she would read my book if I gave it to her. She emphatically said yes and I signed the book and got this selfie right before the next stop which was hers. I told her I was only here for 11 days from New York and she looked at me and told me she was definitely going to call me. Her eyes looked so sincere and genuine. She told me she was grateful for having met me, and that was just the medicine I needed to keep on with this busy day in high spirits! Enjoy the book Courtney!
DADDY DUPREE AND CREW
It was 1am and I was tired and unenthusiastic about being back in the dirty apple ( NYC). Now i was half asleep, but i saw all these lil lovelies get on the train. I always have one sonic ear open when kids get on the train, yet all i kept hearing was laughter and hand games. I wasn't going to approach this family, because the train was too crowded. But once it cleared up, i got up, luggage and all, and went over to offer mama my book. When i gave it to her, the kids tried to take it and see what it was. Mama said, "No, that's for me." All of a sudden one sibling shouted, "No that's for me!" And that created a litany of, "No that's for me," from each and every child, and i watched it become a happy little game, with mama right in it, until grandma had to get everybody calmed back down.
We all had to get off and wait for another train, so we got to talk more. Grandma said they have a lot of fun and that this was not even the whole crew. They said it was only half and didn't include the teens. The kids debated about who would read the autograph first, passed the book around, and i am soooo happy they agreed to take a picture with me! Thank you Williams family! THIS was by far my most favorite train ep to date!
PATRICIA AND WYNTER
Afternoon train ep: when I saw mom was expecting I asked her when she was due. I was happy to hear that she would be due in august. Fortunately she was not getting off the stop she thought she was getting off, which gave me more time to attempt to talk to her. I didn't approach right away. When I saw her teen glance over at that card i gave to mom, and make a sound like scooby doo, I knew that was my cue to go ahead and open up conversation. The card had been folded qnd lil mama was reading the bottom front half of it. Her mom motioned to her that I wrote the book and I looked over to her and mouthed to her to open it up and read it. She told her mom that the cover was missing a belt. I told her it was on page 11. Her mother said to her, "I have to get that book!" That was my beautiful cue to ask, "If I gave it to you would you read it?" Mom's eyes lit up and she emphatically said, "Yes! Of course!" I told her about how some of you actually paid for the books so i could gift them to families i meet, just like her. The big smile widened even more and of course it was my pleasure to sign the book and take this gorgeous picture! Enjoy Wynter and Patricia!
14 July 14
Evening train ep: sometimes I just want to relax on the train and not have my parenting antennae up. But that's life. They are always up. In the distance I kept hearing a little person told to sit down repeatedly. Now when a child is with a whole family I have to you good judgment on how to approach the situation. Patience was sitting next to me and asked why I hadn't approached a different family on the previous train. I told her about how I had to decipher when and how I approach parents and how there were too many variables, so I didn't approach them. I think she knew I was going to approach the family on the train we were on. I wanted in communicate before anything turned into a pop or a slap. I approached the mom and grandma and introduced them to the regulatory part of the brain and how spanking affects it. Our communication was great and mom agreed to read my book. Enjoy Crystle! Use that knowledge well!
KIARA AND OCEAN
Morning bus ep: I totally never take the 2 bus in the morning, but I had just missed my #1 bus. Once we got to 7th Ave going uptown, a mama got on with an adorable daughter. I offered her my card, and drummed up good conversation about the joys of having an adventurous girl. Fortunately we were getting off the same stop and transferring to another bus, giving me time to offer her my book. She happily said she would read it, and I happily signed it for her. Enjoy the book Kiara! Your daughter Ocean will prosper even more from that knowledge!
3 July 14
ERIK AND KIARA
Afternoon bus station ep: Aaaww Maaaannn I AM LOVIN MY EXPERIENCE HERE IN HAMPTON SO FAR! I saw the dad of this crew playing with little man, and holding him upside down by one leg. Little man was laughing, so I didn't rush in right away. When Patience got up to go the vending machine, the little boy became smitten with her and wouldn't keep his eyes off of her. This made all the parents laugh. This was also going to be my segway to go give Mom and Dad my card . When I introduced the book to the couple, the dad's eyes lit up and he looked at the mom and said, "see what I'm talking about? miss can you say that again?" I repeated the concept of the book and the father immediately talked about how much he supported the message I was giving. I have to admit I was so surprised because I thought he was gonna have the other viewpoint. I then shared with them what happens in brain development when you spank a child before four years old and I can see the information was registering. The father told me that they were expecting, and that they really want to do the best job they can do. He asked if he could keep in contact with me because he is willing to get as much help as he can to raise his children correctly, as they are currently expecting. Although mom admitted to popping at times, she did express wanting to do something different because she doesn't like how it feels to hit him. Both mom and dad admitted to being hit for no reason when they were young. We talked about turning out F.I.N.E. Failing Indefinitely Never Emerging. At that point he asked, "where can we get this book." I happily told them, "I will give you the book!" They were both elated and very open to hearing what I had to say. I told them that they could call me anytime.
This work is so awesome and I have to be very aware of not judging books by their covers. I am happy that I spoke to both of them! I am going to ensure that they prosper as parents.
30 June 14
I absolutely loooovvee when a mom is enthusiastic about reading my book! When she said, "Ima buy this book," giving it to her as a gift felt even better. Giving the power right away...with no gaps in time...means the world to me! Enjoy Tasha!
12 July 14
Nothing like watching beautiful, free thinking, happy children who show excitement drinking down a mango, spinach, ginger, lemon, apple juice! You are doing a great job Ebony! Enjoy the book!
This work is so awesome and I have to be very aware of not judging books by their covers. I am happy that I spoke to both of them! I am going to ensure that they prosper as parents.
9 July 14
This dad has his 1 yr old speaking 2 languages already and proudly asked her a litany of questions...all of which she could answer. Thank you Tyson for laying a great foundation for your future leader to follow!
8 July 14
Yeeesss! The message is out in Hampton, VA today too! Use the power of the book to push your family even further Lillie!
30 June 14
Morning bus episode number 2: I was happy to see this young mama letting her children walk freely on the bus without yelling at them to sit down and giving them scare tactics about getting hurt as the bus moved. I got my card ready to give her got her attention and told her about the book . I thought she would just say thank you, but to my surprise she said this is exactly what she needed, because she used to talk to her son, now he doesn't listen all the time. I told her that he is different now and requires the parents to "pick it up" to meet up with where he is. She told me how she gives her children options for what they want to eat, and how that viewpoint has been challenged by all the relatives. So familiar! I told her that she is on the right track and to keep doing what she is doing! Our ride together was short but it was a good conversation and it ended with my girl saying I am so happy I met you. I told her that I was so happy that I spoke up and to call me anytime! Much love Alexia!
26 June 14
CION AND MAMA
Morning train ep: whenever I see a mother come on the train with a stroller, I always try to intercept early before any action can go down. I was going to lay low when this mom came on, but something in me said you do not have time lay low. I offered her my card and watched her read it while I remained quiet. I was going to leave it at that but then something said to ask her if she would read my book if I gave it to her. Her eyes got bright when I asked her and she said she was going to ask me where she could get the book. She happily took it and said it was going to help her with her son because he just turned two years old. I told her not to pay attention to the diagnoses they gave him because of his playful ways because he is just a boy. Read on little mama you have all the solutions and happiness inside of you!
17 June 14
THE SISTER IN THE RED HEADWRAP WALKED UP TO ME AND SAID, "AREN'T YOU THE SISTER THAT SHOWS PEOPLE HOW TO NOT SPANK KIDS?" YEEEEEESSS I HAPPILY SAID. SHE TOLD ME THAT I WAS THE ONLY SITE SHE FOUND THAT SHOWED HER WHAT TO DO INSTEAD OF SPANKING. YOU KNOW I GIFTED HER THE BOOK! TAKE IT BACK TO LOUISIANA AND SHINE SISTER DIVINE!!! YOU'VE ADDED FIRE TO MY DAY!
14 June 14
MAMA AND MUNCHKIN
LAUGHING WITH HER SON IS GOING TO BE STRENGTHENED EVEN MORE WITH THE POWER OF THIS BOOK IN HER LIFE NOW!! THIS HERE IS ONE OF THOSE MAMAS THAT TALKS AND LAUGHS WITH HER SON. SHE CAN USE THE BOOK TO FORTIFY THAT FOR SURE!
7 APRIL 14
EMELY AND FAMILY
GOOD MAMAS WHO LAUGH WITH THEIR CHILDREN ENJOY THE BOOK TOO! HER 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WANTS TO READ THE BOOK AS WELL. ENJOY EMELY FAMILY!
26 MARCH 14
I LOVED SHARING THE BOOK'S POWER WITH THIS MAMA TODAY! SHE LAUGHED AT HER CHILDREN PLAYING AND MADE ME SMILE. ENJOY THE BOOK SHANIQUA AND SHARE ITS POWER WITH YOUR LOVELY LIL ONES!
25 MARCH 14
ENOLA AND QUINCY
WHEN I SAW THIS EXPECTING MOM I WANTED TO GIVE HER MY BOOK. I DIDN'T AT FIRST THOUGH. I JUST GAVE THEM A CARD. BUT WHEN I SAW THE DAD PULL OUT THE IPAD FOR HIS LIL DAUGHTER, I KNEW THEY SHOWED THAT LIL MAMA SOME GOOD CARE. WHEN I GOT THE EYE CONTACT FROM MOM, I ASKED HER IF SHE WOULD READ MY BOOK IF I GAVE IT TO HER. SHE EMPHATICALLY SAID YES AND SO I DID. MY FAVORITE PART OF IT ALL WAS WHEN THEY WERE GETTING OFF THE TRAIN AND THE 4 YR OLD SAID, "GOODBYYYYEE...THANK YOU FOR THE BOOK!" LOVIN THIS WORK I'M TELLING YOU! THANK YOU AND ENJOY ENOLA AND QUINCY!
21 MARCH 14
I SEE THIS SISTER AND HER TWINS ALL THE TIME. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IMPRESSED BY HOW INQUISITIVE HER CHILDREN ARE; ALWAYS COMMUNICATING WITH HER AND ASKING QUESTIONS. I TOLD HER ABOUT THE BOOK ONCE BEFORE. I WAS HAPPY TO GIFT HER THE BOOK TODAY. ENJOY IANTHIE!
16 MARCH 14
I SAW THE FAMILY OF 4 CHILDREN, MOM AND DAD AND GAVE THEM A CARD WHILE WE WAITED ON THE TRAIN. I WALKED AWAY ONCE I GAVE THEM THE CARDS, BUT WALKED BACK AND ASKED, "IF I GIVE YOU ALL MY BOOK, WILL YOU READ IT?" THE MOM AND DAD CHIMED IN, "OF COURSE WE READ BOOKS ALL THE TIME." THE TRAIN CAME AND WE ALL PILED ON. I MANAGED TO SIGN THE BOOK TO THE FAMILY AND ALL LAT!! THE TRAIN WAS CROWDED AND SHAKY...BUT KESHA'S FAMILY GOT THE BOOK IN ALL OF IT! WHAT A BRILLIANT FAMILY! HER 10 YEAR OLD BOY'S FIRST QUESTION TO ME WAS, "WHO ARE YOU PUBLISHED WITH?" HUH? FASCINATING! MOM WANTS TO WRITE AND THE 10 YEAR OLD WANTS TO WRITE TOO. LIL SIS WANTS TO BE A SINGER AND THE OLDER BROTHER PLAYS THE BASS. THE 6 YEAR OLD HAD THE PRESENCE OF A MANAGER, AS HE TOLD ME, "ONLY THESE TO DO MUSIC." AAAANNNDD THEY HAVE A 15 YEAR OLD TOO! BBBBRRRAAAAVVOOOO MOM AND DAD! I GOT THEM AND ANY DREAM THEY WANT TO MANIFEST! REAL TALK!
13 MARCH 14
Evening book ep: I saw this sister trying to handle some business on the phone. At the same time, she really wanted her 4 yr old to have a seat. But lil mama didn't wanna sit down. I saw the scene and went to go and get lil mama while her mom finished her business. When mom was done she came over and we had a chat about letting kids do what they want. She told me about how at home you just did as you were told. I told her that's Black everywhere. I told her, how about granting them what makes them happy. She was impressed with my work with Patience and her book. While the viewpoints I shared were new to her, she embraced them. She said I revolutionized the way she's going to parent from now on. No stress! I told her to let the kids have memories of mom being happy and cool, not frustrated. By this time her children were happy and talking and she acknowledged their affinity for us and the experience they were having. I told her that seeing that joy is something you want aaaaaallll the time. Both Patience and I signed our books and gave them copies. She was gracious and said she looks forward to reading them. She was the parent to be gifted the book tonight! Watch us connect more in the future!
5 MARCH 14
RIVER EAST PARENT
Thursday morning bus ep: The bus was crowded as usual. tons of fare evaders came through the back door, including a screaming child. The sister next to me said, "Somebody is having a bad morning this morning." I just nodded and said, "Sounds like a I-got-hit cry." She commenced to tell me about a young child in a store the other day that actually spit in his father's face and kept spitting. Her response of course was that all the adults were looking at the dad like he should have hit the child. She said, "I am a spanker. I would have hit him." I told her who I was and how I wrote a book about not hitting our children to discipline them. I said, "Children don't usually want to disrespect their parents that way. Imagine what preceded that spitting. What's going on behind closed doors to make him want to do that. Defend himself even." She said that she uses spanking as a last option. I told her that when we hit our children we dumb them down. I told her my own story about not getting spanked much, but getting spanked for sexual stuff I got caught having at a very early age. I told her that I got the spankings, but no one ever asked why a child so young knew about these sexual things. Because they never asked, they never found the molester. The sister got it right away. She said, "Aaaahhh...you gotta get to the root of the behavior." "exactly," I said. She said, "Wow, you have definitely given me something to chew on." I told her, "Yeah sis, don't dumb him down. Sometimes they repress how they feel and it turns into different things as they grow up." I told her about Ibi Zoboi story in my book and she got the message even more. We got off the bus and she reiterated that I definitely gave her something to chew on about the way she handle's discipline with her son. She has called me since and I told her that when I see her next, i will definitely gift her the book. She was grateful in advance. The work continues!
1 MARCH 14
Here she iiiiissss! The first mom to be gifted my book from the Raise Your Skills campaign. I noticed her and her son in the train station. Nothing out of the ordinary. I just connected mama to mama. I gave her my card. I noticed her nodding. I asked her if she would read my book if I gave it to her. She said yes, and said she could really use it, because sometimes she just doesn't know what to do. THAT'S HOW MAMAHOOD CAN BE! I love and appreciate you Tameikia! You have made history tonight dahlin!
25 JANUARY 14
KISHA!!! YOU HAVE A STAR BREWING THERE! READ THAT BOOK AND LET IT GIVE YOU GREAT TIPS FOR BREATHING BIG LIFE INTO YOUR LIL MAMA!
12 APRIL 14
SO I CROPPED THIS PIC, CUZ ME AND THIS MAMA DIDN'T GET TOO RAP FULLY. SHE WAS GETTING OFF THE TRAIN FAST. I WASN'T GOING TO BOTHER GIVING HER A BOOK, BUT MY OBSERVATION SKILLS KNOW WHAT THEY KNOW. I GAVE HER MY CARD. SHE LOOKED AT IT AND LAUGHED. I TOLD HER THAT I GIVE IT TO ALL MOMS AND DADS I SEE WITH LIL ONES. SHE ASKED HOW SHE COULD GET IT. THAT LET ME KNOW THAT I COULD GIVE HER A BOOK. WHEN I OFFERED IT TO HER, SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WOULD DEFINITELY READ IT. I RUSHED, SIGNED IT, AND PAY BOOGIE GOT THE BEST RUSHED PICTURE SHE COULD. SHE SAID, "FUNNY YOU WOULD GIVE ME THIS BOOK TOO." I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHY SHE SAID THAT, BUT I KNOW WHAT I KNOW. ENJOY AND USE IT WELL REVA DAHLIN!
21 MARCH 14
YES INDEEDY! ANOTHER PARENT HAS THE BOOK! I LOVED HER LITTLE ONE AND I KNOW FABULOUS MAMAHOOD WILL RESULT EVEN MORE FROM OUR CONNECTING!
11 MARCH 14
I debated on reaching out to this mom about gifting my book, but when I saw her daughter run to her to sit next to her, and the happiness in her face, I moved closer to connecting. I gave the mom my card. I will only gift the book to mamas willing to read it. When I saw her reread the card back and front, I made the final decision to offer her the book. She agreed to read it if I gave it to her. So I did! Thank you and I appreciate you Bethel!
25 JAN 14
Morning bus ep: Ooooooooo I was ssssoooooo happy I got to this sister on the bus this morning! I saw her on the bus yesterday morning with her 2 boys...and they are STRONG BOYS. They are the type of strong that some people would call defiant. Yesterday I witnessed one of them pleading with her to give him back some type of toy. And he did not care about the volume either. she ignored his pleads and kindly rolled her eyes at him. I was too far into the crowd to get to her, and all I could do is hope I saw her again someday.
WELL I SAW THEM THIS MORNING!!! I told Pay Boogie that I had to get to them and talk to the momma. Today it was the young one that was being somewhat defiant. I took my butt right over to where they were sitting and put my hand on mama's shoulder. I told her, "Giiirrrll, lil man had me rolling yesterday when he was begging for that toy." She told me the background of his charade. I then began to tell her that she has STRONG boys and that we have to keep that alive in them. It's what they need to build their confidence, we just have to help shape it. I gave her my card and told her a lil bit about who I am. Next thing I know she was bending over to lil man telling him that she loves him. She even asked him if he knew so. I asked her if she would read my book if I gave it to her. She said yes and I quickly signed it for her. Thank you for being there for your grandsons mama! The work continues!
21 MARCH 14
SO AWESOME SPREADING THE MESSAGE AND GIVING THE BOOK TO NIMAAT AND HER PIERCING EYE PRINCESS!
10 APRIL 14
I love it when a parent is excited to read my book! She thought it was to show HOW to beat our children. Oooooooohhhhh Contrare!!!!! Enjoy Nefertari!
20 MAY 14
Morning bus ep: I was feelin sort of blah again today. But when I saw this sisterI lit up! I had just put her picture on my websitIe last night! I gifted her my book some time ago. She told me that she read the book in a day and that it was really good. She said I made a lot of good points, and that we have to break the cycle of hitting our children. I told her that someone was debating with me last night on whether or not what the book says works. She said my findings were not researched based and I needed to start collecting tesitmonies from the parents who use the book. I TOLD HER I'LL HIRE HER TO DO THAT. I told her that in the meantime Ima stay working on these trains and buses, doing the work that I do. You made my day
15 JULY 14